Getting to Yes…or No…making decisions that make sense.

coin-tossThis is actually part two of “I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.”
Part 1 can be found on my Facebook page: Living Fully Wellness. If you’re not on FB, send your email address to and I’ll send you the post within my email response.

So, we’re looking at methods to address indecision and looking at the classic either/or decision – I can do this or I can do that.

The first step of this method is to consider why alternative 1 appeals to you.
Write down everything you can think of; do the same for alternative 2.

Let’s say you’re trying to decide if you should go to the gym 3 days this week or spend your time relaxing (because you’ve been experiencing a lot of stress lately).

Your list of why each of these alternatives appeals to you might include: (for the gym) I’ll feel more energized; (for relaxing) I’ll be able to slow down for a change.

The idea is to put down on paper (or on-screen, of course) the things that are truly going on in your mind, in your spirit.
By the way, this technique does NOT work if you don’t actually write things down!

Each alternative is likely to have one or more benefits.
In some cases, this exercise provides sufficient focus to enable a decision; just seeing it in black and white (so to speak) gives you the clarity you need!

If not, we’ll continue to step two and play devil’s advocate.

In this second step we differentiate your true motivators from those which are really just pumped up excuses.
We do this by trying to negate each reason listed for each alternative.
Please note: negating in this case is NOT simply saying, “I will not feel more energized” but it might be, “I will feel more tired”.

In many cases this step is enough to allow you to see which decision really draws you in. If you’re still undecided, we’ll go to step three.

The third step is to consider the “weight” of your reasons – that is, how important each of these reasons truly is to you. For example, If I decided that staying home would allow me to finish reading a book I’ve started but I’ve been reading that book for weeks and weeks, that might not carry much weight as a way to slow down or relax.
Assign a numerical value from 0 to 10 where:
0 = no real importance to me right now
10 = vitally important to me right now.

The last step is to look at the reasons which reveal real substance and note which rose to the top showing themselves to be most engaging. A series of 10s, 9s, or 8s is clearly more engaging than a series of 3s and 4s.

Most people don’t have to go through the whole list for each alternative – your passions and your energizers will show up fairly quickly, just as your excuses will fall flat.

Give it a try, and see what you think.

About zolfw

I am an avid trail runner and fitness enthusiast, an accomplished cook, a lover of cinema and literature (although I read everything from graphic novels to professional psychology tomes, neither extreme being literature in the strict sense) . I am a retired Health and Wellness Coach. I am a husband, father, grandfather, and uncle.
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