Holidazed and Contused

“The Holiday Grumps” – you might be familiar with this or know someone who is.holidazed and contused-3

It’s feeling overwhelmed and irritated by all the hoopla surrounding the holidays when you’re just trying to deal with your own…stuff.

If so, you’re probably also familiar with one of the most frequently offered “antidotes” as well: do for others, and in turn you’ll lift your own spirits!

OK, so here’s the deal…when I’m firmly stuck in HG mode, I might not even have the capacity to do for others. SHOCKING! Am I admitting that I, a person who has dedicated the majority of his adult life to self-betterment and wellness can stuck in the Holiday Grumps?

Ooooooooooooh yeah.

Human, decidedly human.

And so I’m offering this simple phrase…hey wait, how did that song get in there?

What I’m offering is a way to stop sinking deeper into the garland, gift, and card festooned  muck. And yes, “festooned” is a real word.

This is still about giving, but if you’re stuck, you might find it a lot more accessible… and you don’t even have to talk to anybody else if you don’t want to.

What you do is give yourself a gift.

No, not the purchased from a store gift.

This is the gift of allowance, the gift of acceptance, the gift of simply being.

It’s so easy to become saddened by the thought that while you could be celebrating, instead you’re feeling down, and therefore feeling “other”, feeling excluded.

Let’s break this down a bit.

The first part of your gift to yourself is to know – truly know – that you’re not alone; MANY people find the holidays to be a time of overwhelm or sadness.

For me, it often is a time when I miss those whom I have lost in one way or another. Having been around for more than 60 Holiday seasons, I’ve lost quite a few people and it certainly can be overwhelming.

The second part of the gift is very important and builds on the first part.

Now that you’ve accepted the fact that you’re normal (OMG…normal? Aaaaaahhhhh…) you can allow yourself some leeway for dreaming, imagining, envisioning.

Let’s say you’re sitting there watching some holiday crap…I mean extravaganza…and the Holiday Grumps hit hard. Remember this blog post and you you’ll be ready to go.

Having accepted yourself for who you are right now, which, by the way is almost always about HOW you are right now (that is, you aren’t an overwhelmed person, you’re a person who is currently feeling overwhelmed), think about what you would like to be or feel differently.

Allow yourself to be as practical or grandiose as you’d like.

The key is to imagine or envision what you want, as opposed to what you don’t want. We often sit in our sadness and say things like “I don’t want to feel like this anymore” or “I’m sick and tired of always having to just scrape by”.

OK, I get that, but here’s the thing: change can occur when we envision what we DO want.

This isn’t about solutions or resolutions; those can come in time if you allow them to.

This is about seeing what truly is important for you, and creating a vision of it that is compelling and draws you in, firing up your passion and drive!

It may seem strange but it has been proven again and again – envisioning is a powerful step towards lasting change.

And change which allows us to move forward, to see light where there was only darkness…THAT’s a gift we all deserve.

So if the Holiday Grumps are getting in your way, see if his gift to yourself helps. And if you’re concerned about being selfish…I assure you that being good to one’s self can help you be far more giving to others.

Wishing you a truly Happy Holiday, whichever holiday you might acknowledge.



About zolfw

I am an avid trail runner and fitness enthusiast, an accomplished cook, a lover of cinema and literature (although I read everything from graphic novels to professional psychology tomes, neither extreme being literature in the strict sense) . I am a retired Health and Wellness Coach. I am a husband, father, grandfather, and uncle.
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