So, a reader recently asked me why I stopped blogging. I was surprised that she thought I had. Sure, it’s been a while since I’ve published a new post but I’ve been writing lots of them.
I haven’t finished ANY of them but I’ve been writing lots of them.
She suggested that I look at the date of my last blog post. Smirking in that self-satisfied manner I can get at times (oh yes, it’s true!) I checked and it was…February 28th??? Holey Moley, nearly two months ago. That’s like FOREVER in internet years!
So, I asked myself, “Self? Uh, any idea as to why there has been such a big gap in these entries?” Self replied “Hell yeah! You want a list? I got a list. Hang on and I’ll go get it.”
I haven’t heard back from myself yet…
Now, to put this in perspective…since I wrote the line above this one I have:
- cooked a roast
- done two loads of laundry
- cut down a small tree
- broke down all the branches from said tree and bagged it
- had two conversations
- did a quick 30-minute workout
- sorted mail
I probably forgot some stuff.
THIS is what I’m talking about – PROcrastination. A singular and rather impressive ability to put off completing…well…lots of stuff.
If a task at hand imnvolves another person – I’m on it instantaneously! See it through to completion. Ensure it’s done to the best of my abilities.
For just myself? Nahhhhh.
Why I procrastinate, I believe, is in great part from not honoring my own needs and desires as much as I do other people’s . Seeing that in black and white does two things: first, it rings true, and second, it makes me a bit sad that I am not showing myself the respect and love I should. HEY, maybe that’s why myself doesn’t get back to me!
I also would say that why I procrastinate is also situation or subject specific. For example, why haven’t I completed any of those blog posts? I know this one – fear. Good old F-E-A-R.
Fear that I’m not saying anything new or important.
Fear that I’m not saying it well.
Fear that my views will be put down or ridiculed.
And THAT is why I decided to write (and publish) THIS post.
Yes, I’m a Wellness Coach and yes, I help people live their lives more fully but that doesn’t mean I do it all perfectly…oh hell no.
So I wanted to write this post to drag that fear out of the shadows and into the light. I make mistakes; I withdraw; I get depressed; I get angry; I can be envious; I become self-indulgent.
I am incredibly human.
One of the things I have learned about procrastination is that inertia is its greatest friend AND foe – you know – a body in motion tends to stay in motion while a body at rest tends to remain at rest.
Writing this post, owning up to these frailities might just provide the motion this body needs.
P.S. before I wrote that last paragraph I fed the cats, walked the dog, ate dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, read a chapter in a book, and answered three emails.
Have a good night (or day)
I wrote that last sentence without interruption.